KefiraDalila

I'm moving to a new account - something nice and fresh and adult like. Okay that adult like part is a complete and utter lie. Mostly trying to purge myself of extraneous online handles and whittle down to just two - killerlamb and NonsensicalLyrics

sooooooooooooooo if you feel like continuing to follow me go over to my new account NonsensicalLyrics
I've put several of my newer deviations into storage and will be reuploading them over there if you want to refavorite.



anyway.

yeah.

<3


C8

I was tired of looking at the last journal I did, like a year and a half ago.

I took two semester of painting since then, and consequently have a bunch of oil paintings laying around that I don't have any decent pictures of. I'm holding off until I can find someone with a good camera rather than upload grainy i-phone pics. I discovered that I really love painting - I spent almost every weekend in the painting studio this past year at school. It's such a nice break from writing essays and thinking and dealing with people.

And I'm almost done with the big tree project I've been working on all summer! I just need to finish up the leaves and decide whether or not I'm going to add flowers... I probably will because I like to torture myself and can't just let well enough alone. Once that's finished I can get around to finishing some of my other paintings, which I'm looking forward to doing.

I've posted a bunch of poems I wrote over the past 6-ish months. I have some more from July when I was taking a math course. (math class has a very conducive writing atmosphere for me; I'm considering taking another one next summer just because it was so good for poetry productivity. and yes, I did pass the class, so there :b)

I also have a ton of sketches and WIP, and a couple of actually COMPLETED thing-a-majigs to eventually scan or what not. I actually have a drawing from TWO summers ago that I've never gotten around to uploading. It seems very out of place with the type of thing I've been doing lately. I wish I had a camera so I could take pictures of some of the stuff I have in progress. Some of it is pretty cool (and very much not finished, but that's just sort of how I roll).

I'll be making more time for art and writing this semester, doctor's orders. They wanted me to take the semester off for sick leave, but if I did that I'd just be sitting around in my brother's living room by myself for months unable to find a job and I would isolate myself even further, etc etc. It wouldn't be helpful. So I'm staying in school but only taking 3 classes instead of 4 and taking it as easy as possible. And making more time for writing and drawing and what not because it's therapeutic.

And also seeing a PSYCHOTHERAPIST once a week. How hard core is that, am I right? I've done counseling before, and that helped a lot, but now I guess they've decided they really need to dig in so they can finally uncover that childhood trauma they all seem to be convinced I've repressed.

My grades might suffer (oh no, B's instead of A's, how tragic), but my creativity always flourishes when I struggling with my mental health. So that's good, right? Right? Let's just hope they don't end up fix me up so well that my ART suffers. I'm supposed to suffer for it, not the other way around.

Soooo, yeah. I was sick of seeing the old entry.

Right now, I guess I have maybe fourish drawings/paintings/mixed media thingies in process that I hope to finish soonish. Ish.

So.... yeah.

It's summer, and though I have absolutely no free time to draw/write/read for fun, I miss college very much. I love to learn! I love going to class! I'm a huge nerd! And I enjoy being busy. Unable to find a job despite having applied to 12 or so places, I have an unusual amount of free time. I'm planning on going to my local library on Monday to volunteer to... well, volunteer. I like books. Have I mentioned that I'm a nerd?

But yes, the free time. I have several projects in the works at the moment. Be nice if I actually finished one. I will before the summer is up. I will. Just you watch you doubters! Yes, I mean you.

I've had this account for two years, and I'm just now discovering this, lol! I new it was there, but never thought to use it...

Wow! Two years! I first got this account wanting to develop my then non-existent drawing skills. and now, here I am, with drawing skills! Not amazing drawing skills, I have so much room for improvement, and I often despair of *ever* being able to draw people, but they're there! And I've even managed to develop my own style of sorts. Wow.

I don't have many page views, or watchers, or comments, or favorites, no. I'm not that good, what do I expect? But every single one I cherish, really. I don't reply to them all or say thank you every time, but I appreciate every single one so so much. I virtually invade each and every one of your personal spaces and give you an awkwardly long hug ^^.

I don't care if I have many page views or comments or what not though (although they are nice, haha). Watching how my skills develop is reward enough. Being able to *express* things through drawing, it's wonderful. As much as I love to write and act and play my trumpet, there are some things that can only be expressed through a picture. And I love it. That's why I draw. And I post my pictures so I can see them all in one place and how I have developed as an artist, so others can hopefully give me feedback, and so I can share what I want to express with others.

I love art. All art. Even art that I don't like and don't get and makes me tilt my head to the side and scrunch my nose and say, "Wuh?"


And I love everyone reading this!



I feel very at peace right now. I have just finished a drawing that I am particularly proud of for some reason. It's a self portrait, although my likeness isn't in it, and I love it. I won't be able to upload it until next Friday when I return home, but I'm enjoying have my sketchpad open to it on the coffee table so I can see it as I type. Tomorrow morning I might look at it and say, "Meh..."
But right now I'm happy and proud and gushing.



And two years from now I'll still be gushing because I have this beautiful thing called art within me, even if I may not be as adept at putting it on paper as others.